9 People You Can’t Avoid In The Porta-Potty Line At A Music Festival
There’s no getting out of this one.
Standing in line at a porta-potty is one of the most traumatic, yet essential musts when attending a music festival. Staying hydrated is key when attending an outdoor festival on a hot summer’s day, but all that water (or Budweiser) you stored in your Camelback and chugged has to go somewhere.
The road to the porta-potty is a long, unpleasant one filled with strange encounters and weird smells. While in line you stand by some pretty weird people, and they’re more stereotypical than a crop top and flower crown at one of these things.
1. The group of giggling, midriff-bearing prostitots
They’re the definition of millennial you least associate yourself with. (But then again, you are at a music festival, you twenty-something, you.)
This scantily clad group of jailbait — usually traveling in triads in the same outfit just different colors — is the reason why you’re feeling older than you are when you attend a fest.
They’re loud. You can hear them shrieking “OHMIGAWD” from inside the pee portal. They feel the need to hold up the bathroom line by taking 984753 selfies, to include finding the perfect filter and getting approval from the rest of the group all before realizing they’re at a music festival. Idiots. You have a higher chance of sneaking in a handle of UV Blue than you do getting enough service to post on social media.
Amateurs.